


On the Other Side

by doctorxdonna (badxwolfxrising)



Series: Earth Girls Are So Not Easy [13]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Body Swap, F/M, Smut, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3973045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badxwolfxrising/pseuds/doctorxdonna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The obligatory body swap scenario.  Donna and the Doctor unwittingly take part in a ritual on Athena Minor, leading to them waking up as each other.  And of course, there is only one solution to get them back into their own bodies.  Pure, unapologetic crack fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Other Side

**Author's Note:**

> Here a trope, there a trope, everywhere a trope trope. I had a bit of trouble with the pronouns in this piece. I hope it is understandable. A one-shot that doesn't take place in the same universe as the rest of my Doctor/Donna stories. Inspired by dwprompts on tumblr, prompt "The Doctor and his companion wake up one day and realized they somehow switched bodies".

The Doctor awoke with the overwhelming urge to empty his bladder. He stumbled out of his bed and fumbled blindly for the bathroom door. His hands connected with the wall, but the door wasn’t where it should be. He frowned, as his eyes began adjusting to the dim light of the room. It was odd-he could see vague shapes of things, enough to realize that he wasn’t in his own bedroom. But something seemed to be wrong with his vision-even in light this dim, he should be able to see better. And come to think of it, he had no idea how he had gotten to this room anyway, much less fallen asleep in it. He thought it looked like...no, it couldn’t be. Was he in Donna’s room? He squinted into the darkness, picking out the familiar shape of the canopied bed, the wardrobe, the piles of clothes scattered across every available surface and piece of furniture. Yep, definitely Donna’s room, although there was no sign of Donna.

He realized that he still needed to pee, and he made his way across the room to the door to Donna’s ensuite. The lights flickered on automatically when he stepped over the threshold, illuminating the space. Standing on the other side of the room directly across from the door was Donna. He gasped, and even to his own ears, it sounded quite feminine.

“Donna, what are you doing there? You scared me,” he said, in Donna’s voice. As he spoke, he saw Donna’s lips move, and he realized that he wasn’t seeing Donna, but a reflection. His reflection.

“What?!” he exclaimed shrilly, rushing up to the mirror. Sure enough, when he moved his hand, Donna moved hers. When he went to yank his fingers through his hair, as he always did when nervous, it was Donna’s ginger locks that his fingers raked through.

Right. So he was in Donna’s body. Which meant that Donna…

He fled the ensuite, ran full tilt out of Donna’s bedroom, and down the hall to his own room. He didn’t bother knocking on the door, just bursted in and shouted, “Donna!”

“Wha...ooof!” he heard his own voice exclaim as his body rolled out of bed and thumped onto the floor.

He flicked the lights on. “Donna, something’s happened! I woke up, and I was you. And you’re me! At least I’m assuming it’s you, I mean, I hope it’s you, because if it’s not than that leaves so many other questions unanswered…”

“Oh, would you just shut it!”

Right. Definitely Donna.

She pulled herself up off of the floor and looked down, taking stock of her new male body. The Doctor watched, as Donna skimmed his own hands down his ribcage before dropping them to hover at his sides. “Blimey, you’re built like a giraffe. And hung like one, too.”

He blinked at her. “Uh...thanks? I think.”

Donna folded his arms across his bare chest. Suddenly, he was regretting the fact that he always slept in the nude.

“Alright then, Time Boy, how the hell did we end up in each other’s bodies? And how are we going to switch back?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Last night is a blank. All I know is that I woke up this morning, in your room, as you. And...I really have to pee. Excuse me!” he said, dashing for the ensuite.

“Don’t you dare touch my bits!” Donna shouted after him.

The Doctor shoved Donna’s pajamas and knickers over her hips and crashed onto the toilet seat just in time. “Oh Rassilon, that’s a mercy,” he said. When he had finished, he realized he was supposed to wipe, but Donna had expressly forbidden him to touch her bits…

Well, it wasn’t like she was looking. He wadded up some toilet paper, and awkwardly thrust it between Donna’s legs. Was this really how women had to relieve themselves? What sort of rubbish was that?

He flushed the toilet, washed up at the sink, and walked back into the bedroom. Donna had found a tshirt and a pair of pants, but was standing helplessly in the middle of the room, the clothes clutched in her hands, hanging at her sides.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Well, I figured I should get dressed, but I’m not quite sure what to do about...this,” she finished, gesturing downwards. His eyes dropped to where she was pointing, at his own crotch. He apparently had a raging case of morning wood.

“Right, that’s normal for blokes in the morning. Probably need to use the loo, that’s all, and it should go away,” he said, blushing.

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t feel like I have to pee,” she replied, squeezing the tshirt in her hands. “Any other suggestions?”

He couldn’t see the expression he was making, but he was positive he was flushing scarlet. “You’ll have to…” he said, the last words lost in an incoherent mumble.

“Have to what?” she pressed.

“You’ll have to...erm...take care of it,” he said sheepishly.

“You want me to _what_?” she said incredulously. He cringed at the sound of his own voice raising. Was that really how he sounded?

“It’s either that or wait for it to go away on its own,” he said, shrugging helplessly. “Usually, I just suppress those kinds of reactions. You have no practice doing that though, so...yeah.”

“I’m not bloody wanking in _your_ body,” Donna hissed. “You better figure this mess out or...or..”

“Or what?” he asked, hands on hips in a perfect imitation of Donna’s usual mannerisms.

“I’ll cut your hair!” she replied, waving a finger menacingly.

He stared back at her. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Better not test the theory, Spaceman. Now figure out how the hell we got like this and figure out how we’re going to fix it!”

* * * * *

“What?” Donna asked, seeing the look on the Doctor’s face as he stared at the computer monitor attached to the TARDIS console.

“I think I figured out what happened. And there is a solution. But you aren’t going to like it,” he said, turning away from the computer to look at her.

“Alright, well, start explaining. Because I really don’t want to spend any more time as you than necessary, no offense.”

“Well, I used the TARDIS to trace the coordinates of our last destination, Athena Minor. So I pulled it up in the database and started reading through, to see if I could find anything that would hint at why we ended up like this. Apparently, the residents of Athena Minor are big on promoting empathy and equality. So every year, they have a festival where they consume a drink with special properties, and swap bodies with someone of a different gender, so that they can walk a mile in someone else’s shoes,” the Doctor explained.

“I can almost remember it,” Donna said, rubbing her temples. “That party. That weird, fizzy drink that tasted like melted blue ice lollies. So that’s how we ended up like this. But what’s the solution?”

The Doctor squirmed uncomfortably. “It doesn’t matter. There’s no way you’d be okay with what it entails. I’ll find another way.”

“Doctor, just tell me what it is,” Donna said, with the sigh of the long suffering.

He cleared his throat and tossed Donna’s hair over his shoulder. “We have to...well...it is necessary for us to...um…”

“Doctor, just spit it out!”

“Wehavetohaveintercourse!” he said, the words coming out in a rush.

“We have to do _what_?” Donna asked, sure she had misheard him.

“We have to...have intercourse,” he said, miming crudely with Donna’s hands.

She barked out a laugh. “Well, that’s never going to happen. Like you said, we’ll find another way.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that would be your reaction,” he replied. “But Donna, I promise you I’m on it. And if there is another way, I will find it.”

* * * * *

There wasn’t another way.

The Doctor read everything he could on the body swapping ritual of Athena Minor, but there was nothing that suggested there was any other way to reverse the process besides having sex. He swore to himself that when he was back in his own body, he would find the person who had invented the body swapping drink and punch them in the genitalia. For two weeks now, he had been stuck in Donna’s body, and now that he knew what PMS felt like, he was especially eager to return to his own decidedly male form, before they both had to suffer the indignity of what would happen if Donna began menstruating while she and the Doctor were still in each other’s bodies.

Naturally, it was Donna who finally took control of the situation.

“Well, we should probably just get this over with,” she said, shoving the Doctor up against the wall and snogging him to within an inch of his now temporarily human life.

He stared back at her, dazed. “You’re sure about this?”

“What choice do we have?” she replied, sliding her hands up underneath his shirt to grab her own breasts.

“Not here,” he said, gasping as Donna tweaked a nipple. He grabbed her by the hand and led her down the hall to his bedroom.

“I only have one question,” she said when they were both lying naked on the Doctor’s bed.

“What’s that?” he said, turning to look at her.

“Since we’re stuck in each other’s bodies, does this count as sex or masturbation?”

His mouth opened and closed. “I hadn’t thought about it,” he finally answered. “And anyway, does it really matter? Whatever it is, it’s the only way out of this little predicament we’re in.”

“Just think,” Donna said gleefully. “Most guys dream of being able to give themselves a blow job, now you can actually do it.”

“That is really not helping to set the mood,” he replied irritably. “Anyway, I don’t think oral sex by itself will do it. Everything I read about the body swapping ritual made it seem that...penetration...was required to reverse the process. Oh, and both parties have to reach climax or it doesn’t work, so foreplay will also be required.”

“What sort of evil mastermind would design such a thing in the first place?” Donna huffed.

“It’s not supposed to be evil, Donna. It’s supposed to foster empathy, seeing life through the eyes of another. As for the sex thing...well, it’s just more important in some cultures than others,” he answered. “Anyway, it’s not an uncommon human desire to wonder what it feels like to live as a member of the opposite gender, or to experience sex the way they do. That’s in part where Freud’s idea of penis envy and castration anxiety comes from.”

“Freud was an anti-feminist hack,” Donna declared.

“I’m not disagreeing with you, I’m just saying there’s maybe a little something to it. I don’t know, maybe if we think of this as a sort of science experiment, it will make things easier,” he said.

“Right. A science experiment,” Donna said doubtfully.

“Well I don’t hear you making any suggestions,” he retorted.

“Calm your tits, Spaceman. Or rather, calm my tits. Ugh, whatever. Just calm down. It may be a bit awkward, but it shouldn’t be hard. Think about it. Nobody knows our bodies better than ourselves. You know what you like, I know what I like, so we’ll just have to tell each other. That way, everyone gets off and goes back to their own body. It’s a win-win.”

“Suppose you’re right,” the Doctor said, pouting slightly over the fact that Donna had outsmarted him.

“We don’t have to...come together, do we?” Donna asked.

“It didn’t say. It just said that both parties must reach climax, it didn’t specify whether or not it had to happen at the same time. I’d imagine not, though, given that women generally need much more stimulation than men to achieve orgasm,” the Doctor said matter of factly.

“Alright then, guess you better lie back,” Donna said, moving so that she was kneeling between her own legs, which were currently the Doctor’s legs. “My first time going down on a woman, and it’s myself. This might just be the strangest thing I’ve done since I started traveling with you.”

“Are you going to keep talking the whole time?” the Doctor asked, raising his head off the pillows to look down at Donna, crouched between her own legs.

“Now you know how I feel!” she fired back. “Now shut up and lie down.”

The Doctor had long, elegant fingers, the kind suited to playing piano or guitar, or painting, or sculpture, or more...lascivious pursuits. It wouldn’t surprise Donna to learn that the Doctor, could in fact, do all of these things. But the thing was that they had only switched bodies, not minds. All his secret knowledge was locked away in a place that Donna could not access, including how to go down on a woman, if he ever had. She kind of thought he must have at least once in his 900+ years, but it was hard telling with him. It wasn’t as if he were human, although he looked the part. Who knew what Time Lords found erotic? Maybe they liked to touch themselves while their partners read aloud to them from science books?

“What are you doing?” the Doctor asked, squirming.

“Sorry, it’s not like I’ve exactly done this before. I’m always the one on the receiving end of cunnilingus,” she said stiffly.

“Right, sorry. You could try using your fingers instead, maybe?” he suggested.

“Yeah, but that never feels quite as good, trust me. If we’re going to do that, you almost might as well masturbate yourself, you’ll probably get where you’re going quicker. Oral sex is just...different. More intimate,” she said. “Anyway...it’s what I prefer. And you’ve certainly got the tongue for it.”

“You know, for all that talk about just being mates, you’ve commented now on both the size of my cock and my tongue. Some people might say you were giving me mixed signals.”

“We’re in bed together, about to engage in sexual acts. I don’t think the signals are mixed any more,” Donna replied.

“Yeah, but this is only out of necessity. You don’t want to be here doing this, not with me,” the Doctor said, just the barest trace of bitterness in his voice.

“Who said I don’t want to be doing this with you? I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else, that’s for sure. If this had happened to me and someone else, I probably would’ve just accepted the reality and changed my name to Soren. Always liked that name for a bloke, Soren.”

“Like the philosopher?” the Doctor asked, choosing to comment on that one particular thing rather than acknowledge the gravity of the statement that had come before it.

“How d’you mean?” Donna replied.

“Like the philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard? The Christian existentialist? The one who said ‘life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced’?”

“So that’s who said that. No, I’d never heard of him before. And anyway, trust you to focus on the mundane details after I’ve laid myself bare to you. I’m here with you because I want to be. Yes, in part it’s to get us out of a dilemma, but like I said...if it were anyone else, I’d still be looking for other solutions, or I’d accept the reality of living as a man. We’re best friends. Sometimes, best friends sleep with each other. It only has to mean something if we want it to,” Donna said earnestly.

“And do you want it to? Mean something?” the Doctor asked hopefully.

“Why don’t we worry about that after we’re back in our own bodies?” she replied, stroking between his legs and causing him to inhale sharply and buck his hips.

In the end, it was much easier than either of them expected. 

Donna awoke back in her own body, in the Doctor’s bed. He was propped up on his elbow, watching her.

“How long have you been doing that?” she asked him with a yawn.

“Just a few minutes,” he lied.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because you’re beautiful when you’re at rest.”

“Stop it.”

“No, but you are. You’re one of the most beautiful women I know, and not just when you’re sleeping. All the time. You’re gorgeous, Donna,” the Doctor said reverently, reaching out to trace the line of her jaw with his finger.

“You don’t really mean that,” she insisted.

He raised his eyebrows. “Donna, I’ve been you. Of course I mean it. The past two weeks, it was your face I saw when I looked in the mirror in the morning. No make up, no fussing with the hair, I got to see you for you, stripped down to the basics. And you are beautiful. Whether you’re in a vest top and jogging bottoms, or a slinky little evening gown. You are always beautiful to me. I…”

“You…?” she prompted.

He swallowed heavily, and cupped her cheek with his hand before moving closer, so that their faces were only an inch or so apart. He pressed his mouth softly over hers, and whispered against her lips, “I love you.”

Mercifully, Donna kissed him back, her body melting against his. “I love you too, you bloody mad alien.”

They remained like that for several minutes, legs and arms tangled together as they relearned the now familiar contours and tastes of each other’s mouths. They had kissed before, but they literally hadn’t been themselves at the time, so it almost didn’t count. This time, they made sure it did, tongues tangling together, swiping over lips, teeth gently nibbling as hands explored. They spoke their passion for each other not in words, but in breathy little sighs and gasping, appreciative moans. They finally pulled apart, and Donna moved to kneel at his side. The ends of her hair tickled his thighs as she leaned over him. He held his breath in anticipation, finally letting out a long, shuddering sigh when she took him into her mouth.

Her position allowed him a generous view of her round bottom and shapely legs. He reached out and ran his hand up the inside of her left thigh, extending his index finger so that he could stroke softly between her folds. She spread her legs, allowing him easier access to the dense cluster of nerves that made up her most sensitive spot, while she continued working him masterfully with her tongue, lips, and jaw. Before long, she was soaking wet and grinding herself against his hand. Suddenly, she stopped what she was doing and released him from her mouth. He groaned at the loss of her velvet warmth around him, but not for long because in a moment, Donna was straddling him, one hand gripping him firmly by the base of his cock. Teasingly, she rubbed his head against the bud of her engorged clit and up and down her slick folds before she finally sank down on him, sheathing him completely in her silken heat. They both sighed in relief, and she began moving against him, rocking back and forth and grinding her pelvis against his.

“Sorry,” she gasped, as she moved her body in a delicious figure eight sort of a pattern. “Going down on you just made me so wet...I needed you inside me.”

“No complaints here,” he ground out, gripping her firmly by the hip. He used his other hand to give her bottom an experimental smack.

She gasped, and her muscles clenched tightly around him. “Do that again!” they both panted in unison, before sharing a brief laugh. The Doctor obliged, and swatted Donna’s bottom playfully. He was rewarded by the sensation of her body tensing and pulsing around him as she continued to ride his cock. He reached up with both hands to grab her breasts, which were bouncing tantalizingly above him. His fingers pinched and pulled her nipples until they pulled into taut little peaks, and he raised his head off the pillow so that he could lick and suckle at the hardened nubs. Donna cried out and arched her back when she came, but his mouth remained steadfastly fixed to her nipple. He moved his hands so that he was gripping her by the shoulders, and gently and easily, he rolled them so that Donna was beneath him and he was atop of her, while still remaining inside of her. Her hands crept up to cup his bum, squeezing tightly and forcing him deeper inside of her. Before pleasure washed all coherent thought away, he thought of how wonderful it felt to be buried inside of Donna, how tight and wet she was around him, how he couldn’t think of a single good reason to have waited this long to make love to Donna Noble. He was a bloody fool. If it weren’t for the damnable body swapping, this might have never happened at all.

“Doctor,” Donna moaned, raking her nails up and down his back. “Harder!”

He didn’t need a second invitation. He pounded into her, as relentless as the surf pounding against the shore. She drew her knees up and lifted her legs into the air, and the change of angle made both of them gasp. The second time she came, she bit his shoulder, and with a final, vigorous thrust, he spilled himself into her with a strangled cry. He collapsed against her, angling his head into the sweet scented curve of her neck. She wrapped her arms around him, letting her hands come to rest just above the small of his back.

“I think we may need to make some slight revisions to the ‘no mating’ policy,” she said wryly.

The Doctor laughed, and pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck. “Yeah, maybe just a few small revisions. Or, you know, we could just abolish it completely.”

They both agreed it was the best idea he’d had all week.


End file.
